Shit My Boyfriend Says

I discovered the Shit My Dad Says twitter account very late in the day, when the book was recently released. When I finally found out about it I’d just moved in with my boyfriend Carl.

Living together’s a funny thing, you get to discover all sorts of quirks and habits about each other that may not have been as apparent beforehand. For instance, I began to realise that Carl can spend hours at a time on his PC playing All Points Bulletin, a kind of violent, online, collaborative version of Grand Theft Auto. He wears a headset whilst he’s playing, shouting things like, “GRENADE!” to his team-mates, or ‘clan members’ as he calls them, which can be rather startling when you’re sitting on the sofa watching TV or reading. As someone who’s never gotten into playing computer or video games, it seemed like quite a strange thing to do.

There was only one thing for it. Soon after I moved in, the twitter account @APBwidow was born, quoting the strange, disjointed things he says down his headset mic. I wasn’t really sure how he’d take this, so thought it best not to tell him at first. But when we were at Birmingham International Airport awaiting out flight to Bulgaria, the subject of his online game-playing came up. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a secret twitter account with all the things I come out with whilst I’m on there,” he said. Ah.

I knew I wasn’t busted – Carl isn’t half as underhand as me and if he’d found out, he would have just said so. But even I’m not underhand enough to have had this conversation without coming clean, so I told him. The pleasant surprise was that he was delighted – so much so that he pointed fellow clan members to the account in the Metal Heads forum (‘Your girlfriend has totally 0wned you!’).

The unpleasant surprise came shortly after we got back off holiday – he wasn’t playing APB as much as he used to and fancied a bit of a break. It means @APBwidow has gone a little quiet of late but she still has things to tweet about, such as his comments on the newly released Onlive games he’s trying out and my favourite online gaming discovery so far – Mr Toots the killer-rainbow farting unicorn.


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